Peachy

And now the time has come to discuss my work at elementary schools. In addition to my regular duties at Miyachu and Katayama, I make regular visits to 4 different elementary schools in Kure. Though the schedule varies, I visit no less than one a week. I feel this is an approriate time to write this section, given that I had to visit three this week.
I realized that the elementary age group was not for me way back in last Novemenber, when I had to fly to Taipei every Sunday to teach seven hours of kindergarten on Monday and then fly back to Tainan that night. Something about the necessity of learning such useful Chinese expressions as "Please keep your trousers on" and "I am not a tree" and my personal favorite "Please don't pull out my arm hair" made me realize that I was not a born kindergarten teacher. Apparently, I forgot to tell my Japanese boss, who figured that with my amiable appearance, rosy cheeks, and sizable girth, that I was something of a reborn Santa Claus. This is not the case.
As with my junior highs, I have to make a self introduction to each class I teach, complete with supersized laminated pictures of my family and somewhat photogenic friends. To let you know how many I have to do, it's nearly November and I still have a few to go. This will come as a big (and very welcome) shock to my friends and family, but because of the duration and frequency of these self-introductions I now can't stand hearing about myself and I now officially hate the sound of my own voice.
Perhaps the best (and I mean that in the most ironic way possible) part of teaching at Japanese elementary schools is the various ways that the students pronounce my name. I begin class by writing out my full Christian name (and it is a rather Catholic-sounding name), Peter Joseph Lang. I then, bowing to numerous requests, write it out in katakana, the Japanese alphabet for foreign words. In romaji (the Japanese alphabet with Roman letters) it looks like this: Piitaa Jyosefu Ren. You can imagine the sound of 35 first graders screaming it out. You can't? Well, lucky for you. I then tell the students to call me by just my first name, Peter. They can't for the life of them pronounce this, and just say it Piitaa-sensei. Sensei means teacher, by the way. Several times, I decided I didn't like the sound of my name with grossly exaggerated vowel sounds (not to mention no "r") and told the kids to call me "Pete" instead. Big mistake. I said, "Repeat after me ... Pete" "Piitaa" "Pete" "Piitou" "Pete" "Pii...tsu" "Pete" "Piiiii ... chi?" With that one fateful/fatal moment, a headache was born. One student said piichi (pronounced peachy) and it began to ring around the class in gleeful little spurts. Now, I am officially Peachy Sensei, or, when the students try to be more academic, Peachy Teacher. One little girl even says "Miisuta Piichii Sensei" which is basically Mr. Peachy Teacher.
I shall never commit the sin of abbreviation again and shall forever hold true to the full and proud length of my name .. Piitaa.